Setting Gentle Goals After Loss: A Path to Healing

Journaling is a great way to start your healing journey. You can include gentle, realistic goals as small steps toward healing.

Experiencing loss can feel overwhelming, leaving you unsure about how to move forward. In the midst of grief, the idea of setting goals might seem out of reach—but gentle, realistic goals can serve as small steps toward healing.

Here’s how you can approach goal-setting in a way that honors your grief while encouraging growth:

1. Start Small

After loss, your energy may feel depleted, and that’s okay. Begin by identifying simple, manageable goals that align with where you are emotionally. For example:

• Taking a short walk each day.

• Drinking a glass of water first thing in the morning.

• Writing one sentence in a journal before bed.

These small actions are not about productivity—they’re about nurturing yourself.

2. Embrace Flexibility

Grief is unpredictable, and some days will feel harder than others. Give yourself permission to adjust your goals based on how you’re feeling. It’s okay to take a step back when needed.

Instead of rigid timelines, think of your goals as intentions. For instance:

• “I’d like to read a book this month” instead of “I will read a book by Friday.”

• “I’ll connect with a friend soon” instead of setting an exact date.

3. Focus on Self-Compassion

Your goals should support your healing, not add pressure. Be kind to yourself if you don’t meet them exactly as planned. Each step—no matter how small—is progress.

Remind yourself:

• “I’m doing the best I can.”

• “Healing takes time, and that’s okay.”

4. Prioritize Connection

Grief can feel isolating, but setting goals around connection can help. Consider:

• Scheduling a coffee date with a trusted friend.

• Joining a grief support group.

• Reaching out to a family member for a simple chat.

Connection doesn’t have to be overwhelming; even a short conversation can provide comfort.

5. Honor Your Loved One

Creating a goal that honors the memory of your loved one can bring meaning to your healing journey. Ideas include:

• Planting a flower or tree in their memory.

• Writing them a letter to express your feelings.

• Starting a small project or tradition that reflects their passions.

6. Celebrate Progress

Every step forward is worth celebrating. Whether it’s getting out of bed on a hard day or completing a goal you set, acknowledge your effort. Recognizing your progress can inspire hope.

A Gentle Reminder

There is no “right” way to heal after loss. The journey is deeply personal, and setting gentle goals can help you take it one day at a time. Be patient with yourself, and know that healing is not a destination—it’s a process.

If you need additional support, our team at the United By Loss Foundation is here to help. You don’t have to walk this path alone.

Remember: Small steps lead to big changes. One day at a time.

Would you like help setting your own gentle goals? Let us know in the comments or reach out—we’re here for you.